


the faith to saunter forwards

by captainangua



Series: DeanCas shorts [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Wings, Awkward Castiel (Supernatural), Awkward Dean Winchester, Awkward Flirting, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Coda, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester in Heaven, Episode AU: s15e20 Carry On, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Getting Together, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Humor, John Winchester Bashing, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Mutual Pining, POV Dean Winchester, Protective Rowena MacLeod, Sam Winchester Knows, Suicidal Thoughts, The Empty (Supernatural), another soft epilogue!!, found family wins babeyy, hey what if we actually learned what i wanted to know, implied more than the episode lolllllll, wayward sisters mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainangua/pseuds/captainangua
Summary: Dean had people he wanted to see too.“I mean, if he wants to see me.”The glare Sam turned on him made Dean finally remember that his brother really was older than him now. Though Dean had never told Sam about what any of Cas’s last words had been, it had been partly because he’d known it wouldn’t surprise him much and his pity would have destroyed what was left of Dean.“Dean. If Cas is here, then Cas wants to talk to you.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod & Sam Winchester
Series: DeanCas shorts [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/185708
Comments: 14
Kudos: 231





	the faith to saunter forwards

**Author's Note:**

> because fuck it apparently i did need this writing fic is way cheaper than therapy but hey at least i am starting to feel the rage inside of me calm finally
> 
> apologies if this is too blatantly stealing from other fix its because i have read SO MANY since seeing the finale lol it's almost like some things in there needed fixing
> 
> so anyways love that found family gay new heaven i will happily fill in all the blanks of that horrifically empty episode

They drove, and sometimes they talked, and sometimes they listened to the radio, which always played the right tracks. It really was like how it always had been. And it was almost perfect.

Eventually, maybe an hour later, maybe a day, maybe a year, Sam asked to stop and start walking. Fifteen years ago, a lifetime ago, that might have been a familiar end to a tired fight. Now, it was because Sam was an eco-friendly pedestrian most of the time and a grumpy old man and he wanted to walk to go and find Eileen. Then Jodie. Apparently she’d been worrying about Alex when she’d gone, and Sam wanted to make sure she knew how everything worked out for all her girls.

Dean had people he wanted to see too.

“I mean, if he wants to see me.”

The glare Sam turned on him made Dean finally remember that his brother really was older than him now. Though Dean had never told Sam about what any of Cas’s last words had been, it had been partly because he’d known it wouldn’t surprise him much and his pity would have destroyed what was left of Dean. “Dean. If Cas is here, then Cas wants to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah, what makes you so all-knowing all of a sudden?”

“I knew Cas. And I was married a long time, Dean.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Wait, who was your best man this time?”

Sam squirmed. “… Garth.”

“ _Garth_?”

“Hey, he named his _son_ after me - and you were _dead_.”

“And Dean Jr’s godparents?”

“Rowena. She didn’t give us an option, she just sorta showed up with gifts and assumptions. At first I thought she was just angling to get her hands on the bunker books but she turned out very doting. Almost too doting.” He rolled his eyes but looked anything but upset. “Dean made the mistake of telling her the first time he got a bad grade, and then again the first time he got his heart broken. That second one was…. _Not_ fun to clean up.”

They talked some more after Dean stopped the car, and then Sam got out and walked away. Dean felt the ghostly fear that everyone was, again, leaving him, before he relaxed. They had all the time in the world, and maybe God was even on their side this time.

Dean stopped driving by a beach that was very like the one they’d left Chuck on. Absently, Dean wondered if Chuck would ever make it to heaven, if that was something he’d already done, somewhere in all of this time that had apparently passed.

It was also just like the place Cas had met one of his ends. Cas, who’d finally made a Heaven the way he wanted it. Who’d “be along”.

For the millionth time since he’d met Sam on that bridge, Dean wondered if that was something he should be prompting. Or hey, maybe old married Sam was wrong and time had healed a few wounds. Maybe Cas had finally decided he didn’t need to see him anymore –

Somewhere behind him, there was a small gust of wind that hit his back along with the familiar sound of wings.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean took his time turning around. Just like his long drive, maybe he finally wanted to savour things.

And this sight was worth savouring. There was Cas, just as he’d been when Dean had last saw him, barring the blood and the tears.

“Hey, Cas.”

He got a small smile for that, like Cas found it a wonder Dean had anything to say to him. “I wanted to give you time. I knew you’d feel better once you knew Sam was here, and that he was fine.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Cas.”

There were maybe three metres between them, nothing huge. But no distance had ever felt so daunting to cross. Maybe Cas had been right to give him all that time. Apparently, it still hadn’t been enough for Dean to know what to say, what to do around him.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he wanted now.

“So Jack got you out first thing, huh?” Dean felt his smile waver. “Y’couldn’t have dropped in to let us know down there?”

Cas started moving, and at first Dean thought Cas was coming towards him, but instead he was paying attention to the water as he started walking along the beach. Dean kept pace and watched Cas’s expression remain peaceful.

“No, I couldn’t have. Jack did bring me out of the empty, but only through some legal wrangling I’m sure Sam will be proud of. I’m human again, Dean.”

“But – I’m sorry, the wings?”

Cas laughed and Dean felt like his heart could burst out of his chest just from looking at him. Laughter looked like it came easily to this new new new version of his angel – his –

Yeah.

“I missed having them. And there’s no reason not to have everything you want, here.”

Dean thought he heard the invitation there, but he barrelled on. He still had a lifetime of questions before he could get to anything else whatever undefined form that everything else might take.

“Alright, so this is just full on Heaven for you too then?”

“Full on Heaven, yes. Jack reasoned that I had proven to have grown something of a soul in my time on Earth, in my time as a human. Therefore, in the same way Jack should have stayed here, so should I.”

“That’s…” Awesome, Dean wanted to say. Finally, somehow, they were on the same page at the same time. Even if they did have to die to get there together.

“So you did save me, in the end.”

“What? How?”

“I experienced too much – _felt_ too much to stay trapped in the empty.”

He was working up to it, but Dean couldn’t quite meet his eyes for that. He had time, he’d get there. Instead, he looked at his feet, and stopped to pick up a nice-looking stone to skim. It sank on the second bounce, which cheered him up a little. That felt more real than he was worried Heaven was gonna be.

“Alright,” Dean said, getting back to walking. He was looking, but there didn’t seem to be an end to this beach. “So, tell me Ted Dansen. What happened to the apocalypse world Bobby and all the rest of them at the end? They make it up here too?”

Cas nodded, looking only a little uncertain. “I think so. But I know Jack has been working on restoring the destroyed other worlds. I’m not sure if that means he’s been restoring all their Heavens too. But I think if someone dies here - ”

“Sure, sure. And all those trapped hell ghosts? Kevin?”

“I’ve seen Kevin. And though Rowena’s not become any kind of saint she’s been cooperative with Jack in managing who should be where. Apparently she enjoys being “Favourite Auntie to the Big Man”.”

Dean smirked. He could almost hear her saying it.

“What about Purgatory?”

“What about it?”

“Is it going to stay like it is?”

“Maybe you should reach out to Jack about it. Is that all of your questions?”

“No.” Dean swallowed. He’d had all time to get this right, and still, he felt like those vamps back there had taken his tongue too. “You saved me again.”

“Not that it seemed to take for long.”

Dean wanted to laugh, but he had to keep going, even if he had to keep looking at his feet to do it. “You said a lot, before you did.”

“I did.”

Finally, Dean dared to look up. “What did you mean by it?”

Cas blinked at him and for the first time the zen little expression on his face seemed to crack at the edges. “Dean, how could that possibly not have been clear?”

Licking over his lips, Dean looked down again, heart racing but somehow keeping the pace of his feet steady. “Ok for – for how long then?”

This time, Cas took a while to answer. “I’m not sure. I don’t think I had the capacity to recognise what I felt, not at first. But when we asked you to torture Alistair -”

“What, you were into that?”

Cas didn’t laugh but Dean hadn’t really expected him to. “I told you I would give anything to not have you do it. And I would have. If only I’d realised then that I simply could have chosen not to.”

“You got there.”

“I did.”

Though the beach still stretched on ahead of them, they’d come to a small stone path leading off of it now that led away from it and Cas began walking up it.

“I think,” Dean started as he followed him. “I think for me it was when you had to rescue me from Zachariah. When he caught up with me and sent me into the creepy fake future. I was just so relieved you were there like you said you’d be, and that you weren’t future you.”

“You – you think for you…”

They’d stopped now outside of a small cabin that overlooked the beach. It felt familiar, in the same way most of this new Heaven did. Not out of a memory but probably somewhere out of real life that Dean had seen.

“Yeah.” Dean took a breath his brain knew he didn’t need and looked Cas in the eye. He’d said it to Sam, hadn’t he? “When I figured I loved you. In some way. I’m not sure I knew what it was either then.” He risked a smile, enjoying the look of shock he’d managed to paste onto Cas’s face. “I guess both of us could have used some work on our timing, huh?”

“A little.”

And somehow, they still weren’t closing the space. But they did still have time. All the time even they could ever need. “So whose is this, then?”

“Oh, mine.”

Dean grinned at it. “I like it.”

“It’s bigger than it looks. There’s another lounge room downstairs.”

“You built a Dean-cave for me?”

“I wanted to make sure this was somewhere you’d want to be. Just in case.”

“Good planning. You gonna ask me to move in now?”

“I -”

And Dean decided he was done dipping his feet, he was done savoring. He closed the distance left between them and Cas’s mouth with his own and after everything it was easy, there at the end. There was nothing difficult about it. But then there wouldn’t be, would there?

Still clutching to the collar of Cas’s coat, Dean pulled away. “Hey. How do I know this isn’t all fake?”

“We really did it, Dean, I promise. We remade Heaven. We broke the walls down and opened it all up.”

“But you would say that, wouldn’t you? If you were a fake Heaven Cas, you’d say whatever it was I wanted to hear.”

Cas’s lips twitched upwards. “Would it help if I yelled? Or lectured? Because really the fact that you allowed yourself to die so quickly after I left you was unimaginably disappointing.”

“Hey, I gave it a try.” Dean’s grip on Cas’s coat tightened and loosened and tightened again. “I was going to get a job, settle down a little. I got a dog, d’you see that? But -”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “But?”

“But I gotta say it was still a relief. I’m not saying I had a plan, but if you hadn’t been here when I got here…”

“What? You would have rampaged through the realms of death looking for me?”

Dean felt his face burn. “Something like that. I’d had a look at a few ideas about the Empty, most of it looked easier to manage from up here.”

“ _Dean_.”

“I’m not saying I did it on purpose! I just… it was something I thought about, sometimes. You gotta know I was always going to go looking.” Dean laughed. “Only real worry was I wouldn’t be making it up here. Still thought there was a half chance I’d be bargaining with Rowena right about now.”

Cas made a sound that was dangerously close to a growl. “ _Stop_ saying things like that about yourself. How could you ever believe that?”

“Cas, I’ve not exactly done all good in my life. And certainly not to Jack.”

The iron disapproval on Cas’s face began to melt back into something soft. “He’s a forgiving God. Somehow, we taught him that much.” Cas reached for Dean’s hand and finally holding onto it felt like the easiest thing in the world. Like they were meant to hold each other like that, like they’d been practicing.

“You know,” Dean said, still mesmerised by the sight of their fingers entwined, “none of this is convincing me this isn’t fake.”

Cas sighed and began leading Dean up his cabin steps. “If it’s conflict you’re missing there’s a few choice speeches I have prepared for your father. Would you like me to accompany me in delivering them?”

Dean barked a laugh. He could believe. This felt real enough for him. “I think I can leave the conflict behind for now.”

“For now?”

“Another few decades, at least. Gotta give it cooking time.”

*

**Author's Note:**

> so anyway if my baby brother tells me he likes the finale i will not be responsible for my behaviour


End file.
